Sure, your arm propping your head will tire, but that’s kinda the point. While a cuddling position, it’s more casual than intimate but still expresses your interest and allows you a better angle to read your partner’s face/reactions. Now it’s time to build your advance and a good way is to wrap one arm around them and prop yourself up with your other arm-we’ll call this the Quad Cuddle (look it up). Unless you’ve already established a safe word (really?), we don’t recommend choking Little. You’ve got your arm around them do not squeeze them like they will float away if you let go. You’re in and that’s great! Now don’t frak it up. That leads us to the more direct option of just saying “hold me, goddammit!” Really, whatever works for you, as long as you find a means to communicate to Big that yes, you (really) want them close to you. But unless you’re dating a telepath (in which case, good luck with that), your partner can only read so much of your mind-even if you’re both lying on a bed watching TV. There’s the slow burn method: smile, chuckle, talk, “accidently” brush their arm, etc. If you find someone who pleases you, you can take any route to let them know. If you’re going to be cuddled/handled/fondled, you deserve to call the shots on who will be putting their hands on or around you. That’s a huge turn on for many which has the added benefit of good karma. What it shows is that you are willing to put the wants of your partner ahead of yourself and to make them as comfortable and content as you can. Oftentimes, we’re led to believe that asking if we can do things to someone shows a lack of confidence and that’s crap. Don’t be afraid to ask if you can hold someone’s hand or put your arm around them. Make your presence known and don’t forget communication is key. Most everyone has their own personal bubble that when broken unexpectedly, can throw them off balance and make them less comfortable. The entire idea is to get up in their space, but just jumping on top of a person can be a huge turnoff, especially in the earliest stages of getting to know someone. A need to vomit, maybe but not to cuddle, unless you’re in the 8th grade.
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Remember that having a Michael Bay or Brett Ratner movie on does not inspire cuddle feelings in anyone. Take note that this guide is written under the scenario that you are on a couch or bed, potentially watching something like Battlestar Galactica or other great television. To master cuddling is to master a vital tool in your bedroom arsenal it’s a “gateway action” (which I totally made up) that can lead to anything ranging from calm sleep to getting laid. Cuddling is as much about technique as it is about adaptability-you have to be able to read your partners actions and reactions and go from there. It can be as much of an art as the act of sex itself, whether you are Little or Big Spoon.
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It’s a non-aggressive word: “cuddling.” But make no mistake.
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For the purpose of this piece, we’ll go out on a limb and assume you have a companion of some kind (casual, committed and/or friendly) to assist you in what I consider to be a more intimate act than sex: cuddling. Well, it’s great when you do it with the right person, even if that person is yourself.